Picture Credit: Mart Productions at pexels.com
By Oisin McNevin
“In the space of 10 months I found my sister and mother dead because of suicide”: a life full of pain and trauma, but now one of hope.
John Wilds is a 50-year-old man from Cherrywood in the South Dublin – his life has been filled with unimaginable pain.
Childhood was not a happy and stable one for young Wilds; his family was full of addiction, and the area was full of crime in the flats of Monkstown.
“I would describe it as a mini Ballymun full of drugs and crime,” he said.
Wilds explained that it was in his teens where he first started experimenting with drugs himself: “I was a drug addict at 16; it started off with hash, then heroin.”
“My Dad threw me out of the house when he found out, I was then homeless for years… I had no relationship with him growing up, he was an alcoholic and my mother, and two sisters were drug addicts.”
“I would attend raves and would be on ecstasy, when we were all on it we all loved each other,” he said.
“It was after the ecstasy that I first encountered the brown. It was in tinfoil and people around me were taking it to deal with the comedown of the ecstasy, I thought it was great and that was the problem – [that’s] why I say, one decision will change your life.”
“I would then get clean for 14 years after going to rehab”.
Away from the drugs, Wilds was also subjected to physical abuse: “I got the biggest beating of my life, for no reason at all. I was battered and now have a titanium plate in my head and now paralysed in my face, I have screws in my leg… I am also unable to work due to the disability.”
“In this area you can’t go to the Guards as you will be labelled a rat, and I was terrified that I would get my house attacked.”
It was nine years ago however where he encountered another traumatic experience: “In the space of 10 months I had found both my sister and mother dead because of suicide, I also broke up with my partner and went back on heroin to cope.”
“I was suicidal, however, I knew that would be disrespectful to my mother and my sister if I had done that,” he said.
It was after all that trauma that he first encountered Men’s Shed, a major turning point for him. Men’s shed is for men usually in their sixties or seventies who have had their difficulties with mental health. However this mens shed in Cherrywood of which John is a part of has men of all ages, one of them being in his 20s. The men in a shed would sit down and have a chat with a cup of tea, some may play pool or darts. It is a way of keeping them connected and a sense of belonging and acceptance regarding their feelings.
“I saw Mark (Men’s Shed employee in Cherrywood) recently after finding my mother and sister dead, and as soon as I stepped foot in here a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders,” he said.
“It gave me the strength to go to rehab as I have two children, my son is 24 and my daughter is 19. They are the ones that get me up in the morning, along with this place. I got clean for them.”
He’s taking it one day at a time, and has been clean for nearly a decade.
“Do I get cravings when I get down… I always speak with my psychologist – I never say that I’ll never take drugs again, because that would make it more difficult for me, I will say to myself I will not take drugs today.”
Today John lives at peace. “My week consists of me doing [Men’s Shed] Monday to Friday, sometimes I go to Howth, as I have my disability pass so I take the train. Spend time with my kids and relax in the evenings.”
“That’s what makes me at peace.”

















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