The Christmas CURE

Just like a Christmas dinner, you may enjoy getting a little blitzed, canned, stewed, pickled, tanked, steamed, and/or sauced at this time of year. So as my good deed to the masses, I have asked the people of Dublin; what is the best hangover cure for those less than merry morning afters?

The cure is no longer a thing of urban legend. Thousands will rejoice, Sunday will be spent actually praising God as this terrible, painful and heart-breaking condition called a hangover is cured.

The signs you are suffering and need the cure are as follows: Head banging, room spinning, bloodshot eyes, dry mouth, ears ringing and a strange complex involving being both sick and starving.

The Top Three Cures:

1. Brown Food

Yes, you heard it here first, make it brown, fried and with no nutritional value. Over half the people asked said the filthier the better. Opinions were divided between the full fry or the chipper. To be safe, I would recommend getting both.

2. Liquid Fizz

Irish people are big fans of the Black Doctor; also know as a can of Coke. However, the big fizzy winner for the morning after is Lucozade. We might not be energetic in body, but in mind we are getting full use of this hydrating sports drink.

3. Hair of the Dog

After drinking, the body goes through a two stage metabolic process to break down the ethanol. Solution – Fill her up again.

Adam Rogers argues in Proof: the Science of Booze that, “The notion is if a hangover is methanol toxicity, you’re going to have another drink and the ethanol displaces the methanol off the enzyme and you will feel better.” To put it simply, a roll over is not reckless; it is essential to your health. Someone named Adam even wrote a book about it.

Disclaimer: A hangover cure might give you back Sunday, but work on Monday is your own battleground.

God speed you boozy Christmas puddings.

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