The “I Can’t Go On” writer/director reveals her early inspirations and addresses the challenging realities of breaking into the film industry.

By Oscar Meagher

Laoisa Sexton never set out to be a filmmaker. In her own words, “I’m an actor, and then I started plays, and one thing just led to another.” 

“I grew up in a rural area where there wasn’t much around, apart from community theatre. My mother always encouraged me to take part, especially when we moved to the city. I remember she’d always play showtune records for me and tell me about the stories behind them. Shows like West Side Story or Les Misérables.” 

Sexton recently won the Best Director award at the Dublin International Comedy Film Festival for “I Can’t Go On,” a short film which follows a children’s entertainer trapped in a party from hell. She describes it as “an angst-ridden dark comedy panic attack”. 

Image from “I Can’t Go On” – credit: Laoisa Sexton

“I wanted the viewer to have a visceral experience; to be inside that costume with our lead and to feel her claustrophobia. It’s based on my own experience as a kid’s party entertainer, which can be hell on earth!”  

The short creates such an overwhelming atmosphere of discomfort that it’s almost off-putting to the viewer. However, that seems to be the point.

“As a filmmaker, I love to explore the tragedy of what it means to be human while making an audience laugh at the same time. Sometimes, you must go for the jugular by tapping into disturbing levels of discomfort and being unapologetic to get at the truth.” 

“I Can’t Go On” was produced under the Screen Ireland Focus Shorts scheme and marks the first of Sexton’s films to receive industry funding. She emphasised how appreciative she is of the support, but doesn’t cower from addressing the difficulties faced elsewhere.  

“Most people who are making films come from more privileged backgrounds than I have. I’ve had to rely on crowdfunding to raise money for much of my work. A short film can take the guts of a year to complete without proper funding. Some of my films have taken longer to create, as I’ve had to start and stop to raise more money for postproduction.”

Her story is proof that no person can be considered entirely self-made. Both Laoisa Sexton, the person and filmmaker, were born from a passionate and supportive mother.

“She’d plonk me down in front of the TV and make me watch these incredible films that I probably shouldn’t have been watching at that age. Films like The Red Shoes, Black Narcissus, Double Indemnity, Irma La Douce, and North by Northwest. My mother knew the names of all the actors, even the producers. She was always a wealth of film knowledge, and I think that planted the seed.”

“I Can’t Go On” ends with a dedication to her late mother.   

The short was recently awarded Best Irish Film at the horror festival, Imblog: Women Who Terrify, held in Griffith College Dublin as a celebration of St Brigid’s Day. The event spotlighted original works by women and LGBTQA+ creatives.

While film festivals are often the best place for blossoming filmmakers, financial matters may tarnish a promising career before it can even begin.

“The Irish film festivals are brilliant and passionately supported by the public. They can be wonderful opportunities to get your work out there, but it costs money to submit and to go to the festivals to represent your film. Some of them are very pricey, especially internationally. You really need a budget for this because they can cost upwards of €2K. More affluent filmmakers can afford to pay short film distributors to get their films included in more festivals and promote them. If you don’t already have the financial backing, you are clearly at a disadvantage.”

Sexton embodies the romantic ideal of a filmmaker. She is honest, uncompromising in her vision, and she fights to get her work made and shown – a task generally more challenging for a female creative.

“Statistically, we make up less than any other group making films, I think it’s about 8% for female directors. While there are opportunities for us to make short films, when it comes to funding our features, we aren’t being given the same opportunities as our male counterparts. This isn’t just in Ireland; it’s across the board. The subject matter of what we want to make is not given the same weight either.”

The challenges faced by Sexton are sadly universal. She articulates the limitations imposed on anyone with the desire to push beyond the comfortable and recognisable.

“I want to make the kind of films that I want to see, but that I don’t see being made. The truth is that unless something has been done before or proven as worthy of financing, it may not happen. Cinema is not like that; you never know what an audience will respond to.” 

A filmmaker’s personality, interests, heritage and identity will naturally inform their work. For Laoisa Sexton, the diversity of new voices is a necessity for the future of filmmaking.

“I think when people talk about diversity, they should also include class. It’s very important to include more voices, especially when it comes to funding. Hopefully, that will lead to more types of stories being made.”